12 weeks!

Well 11 and 4 days according to the measurements!  :D

Went to the doctor's appointment yesterday.

Whilst we were going there I noticed that a little white butterfly had stuck to our windscreen wipers and stayed there until we arrived at the doctors.

I did ask my little princess to stay by my side.  She definately got herself seen.

When I got into the doctor's office I was SO scared.  I thought my head was going to explode.  It was pounding so hard.  I was SO nervous I thought I was going to cry.  Hubby was always there..... but I think I passed my anxiety on to him.

It was our turn.

Doc told me to get ready for an internal scan.  I got ready.... got on the bed.  I didn't look at the monitor where baby would have been.  I turned my head and thought to wait till doc said here's the heartbeat.  He saw me with my head turned and said "don't you want to look?"  I replyed "as soon as you let me hear the heartbeat then I'll turn!".  "The baby is fine.... it's moving so it's heart is beating!"  I turned to look at it..... and there it was.  A little funny thing on the monitor.... moving around.  It had its arms up near its head.  Just perfect!!!!  I fell in love and funnily enough I didnt even feel guilty about it.  Then again.... what is there to feel guilty about?  I have 4 children now.  My two boys here on earth.  My baby girl on the sky and Minu in my belly!

When my second son was about to be born I felt so guilty for my first.  I kept thinking of how he was going to feel left out.... of having to divide my love.  When my second son was actually born the love I felt for him was unique.... different from the love I felt for the second son.  I then came up with a conclusion.  When a new baby starts to grow inside your bump a new heart starts to grow too.  I now have four hearts.... no one..... is left out..... nothing is divided!

Doc said that overall everything was going well.

He was pleased with me not gaining weight.  He said he didn't want me gain just too much beause then he would have to up the heparin intake.

He wants hubby to do blood work to see if he has any trombophilia in his blood too.  If so then we need to keep a closer eye on the baby.

I will be seeing him in 4 weeks time.

I came out of the docs office smiling from ear to ear..... I got to see my baby with a beating heart!  It was amazing!

When we got home we told our family.  Everyone was very happy.  My boys don't know so we told them to keep it a secret.  Their first thoughts were for my baby girl.  Everyone had the same thought.  "If you would have had heparin maybe our little baby girl would be with us today!".  I always think of that.  I keep thinking of how my ex doc was negligent and quite ignorant.