18 weeks...

Things seem to be going good.  

It's been a very calm week.  Nothing to talk about really.  

I haven't weighed myself since the last docs appointment.  I'm slightly scared too :(  I've been watching what I'm eating.  No sweet stuff.... no fried stuff. Eating as healthly as I can.  Hopefully the scales won't make me cry when I get on them next week before docs appointment.

I'm going to hav blood work done this week so I won't have to hurry around like I did last time and nothing was ready to take to docs.  

I've still been using my doppler.  What a great invention!

Even though I still get my what ifs!!!!  like what if what I'm listening to isn't my baby?

I wish december would hurry up and get here!

Keep your fingers crossed for a friend of mine.  She is a week behind me in this pregnancy and she's having some complications.  We've been holding hands .... I'm holding her hand special tight and keeping her in my prayers.

See you next week.

Oh.... ps: thank you Sarita for commenting, thank you also for your thoughts and prayers.

17 weeks

Here we are.  17 week mark.

I think I might have felt something move.  I can't have that much wind in my belly ;)

I am still taking the same medicines.  I haven't used the doppler for a few days.  I've had to force myself to do so.  I would stay 24/7 with it on my bump to listen to it all the time.

My dad asked me yesterday if I knew what we were having.  I said I didn't know.  (I lied)  I also said I didn't want to know (another lie).  I think everyone in the family is wanting it to be a girl.  My mum did say when I told her I was pregnant that this time it would be a girl.  I haven't got a 100% answer from my doc yet.... but if he says it 90% boy then it's probably going to turn into a 100% boy next time.

Now with my doppler I think my doc appointments will be slightly less anxious.  All I need to do is hear the baby's heartbeat before I go in.  Of course I won't be totally relaxed because you never know wht can happen in a split second.... but at least I won't be scared to look at the monitor.

I haven't got anymore nausea or sickness so I'm always hungry.  I love pasta with fresh tomato sauce.  I try to be careful with my weight though because doc doesn't want me gaining a lot.

Over all..... pregnancy has gone pretty well.

I haven't told anyone yet.  Well nobody that isn't my immediate family.  It's wierd talking to other pregnant women who are a wekk ahead of you and not talk to them about the pregnancy.  I am showing but I'm good at hiding my secret very well!!!!!

Fetal doppler

I got it in the post yesterday.  Just when I wrote.... hurry up..... hubby walked in with a package!!!

I tried it yesterday.  Three times!  Let's just put it this way..... it's not easy to find a little heartbeat in a bump with a wiggly baby who's heart is probably just a few milimeters big.

Anyway.... I did find the heartbeat in the end.  I did this morning too.

My little baby's heartbeat is music to my ears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love my little man!

16 weeks

I suppose I should be updating every week but never get round to it.

I had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday.

As always I get really anxious just before I get into the room.  We went in and the doctor's first reaction to my belly was:  "oh my!  you can tell you do clexane!"

I looked away as I do a the beging of a scan.  Then I here the doc say "ok.... so here are the arms wiggling away".  I then pluck up the courage to turn and look at my little child.

The doc. explained that the scan was a preanatomy scan.  A bit like the scan I had last time with my NT scan.

Doc said everything looked fine.  That everything looked as though it was continuing as normal.  He said that he thinks baby is probably a little boy.  He said he's 90% sure but we'll find out properly for our anatomy scan in 3 weeks.

I must be sincere.  I was just a tiny bit disappointed.  I would have liked to of had a girl experience.  I now know I won't have one for the rest of my life and am slightly sad about it but...... then I think.... I have a live baby kicking and punching inside of me!  I am thankful and greatful to God for him!

The doc was surprised I didn't put on weight since last time.  He didn't believe me :(  I hope I don't look too fat!

He told me to carry on with the medicine I'm already taking.  He wants me to have a glucose thingy done.  I'm not looking forward to drinking that horrid sweet stuff.  Never mind.

When we left his office he actually congratulated us on our pregnancy.  I didn't say thank you or anything because I firmly belive it brings bad luck..... but hearing him was strange and hopeful at the same time.

Now I'm looking for a boy baby name.  I never thought I would want to name the baby with the masculine of his big sister's name.   As time goes on.... and thinking of other names..... none seem to be right for him.  Am I making a mistake?  should I not use the same name for my baby boy?  Will I think of my baby girl everytime I call his name?  But surely I'll be thikning of her everytime I look at my baby boy, won't I?

I hope to update when I turn 17 weeks and not leave an update with such a big gap.

My fetal doppler hasn't arrived yet :(  hurry uppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!

What if.....

From my last ultrasound I have been thinking about the outcome of my next scan.

I know I'm boring.

But since my last ultrasound I have:

- had an arguement with my DH.
- shouted at my children
- been on my feet alot doing a few things

What if.......I lay down on that bed and get the same outcome that I had three years ago?

I have ordered a fetal doppler..... but it's only getting here on the 26th :( can't even get a listen of the heartbeat to be slightly more relaxed before my next ultrasound.

What if......... it gets here and I don't need it anymore :(

PS: thank you for my first follower

What number pregnancy is this?

I reply...  the 4th.

I usually get someone look at me big eyed and then they ask.... how many children do you have at home..... and then I feel like dying.

I say two....and then they always say.... did you have an abortion?  No.... I lost my daughter at 36 weeks.  They then give me the horrid look af pity, say I'm sorry then carry on in their work.

Oh and I love the question: when was the date of your last period?  I jump with joy inside!  My last period date is actually my angel's birthday!

Nuchal traslucency and nose bone

Both perfect!!!!

I saw the baby again yesterday!

As always I sart off being really scared and thinking that they're gonna say something terrible and that my pregnancy will end there on that bed the way it did three years ago.

Yesterday was a refreshing and HOPEful day!  We got to see our baby .... his perfect little profile, his strong beating heart, his little hands over his face.....

The Doc said that we got to see quite alot of things considering I'm 12+6

She measured baby's nuchal traslucency three times and everytime she said it was perfect hubby and I squeezed our hands a little tighter.  We held hands through the whole scan.  I really needed hubbies support and he is always at arms length for me to hold on to!

I have only recently been introduced to what is called The Nub Theory.  I'm getting quite a culture on what a boy's nub should look like and what a girl's should look like.  Then I look at Minu's DVD and get confused.  It's not that it's important.  I love the baby to bits already.  It's gender will make no difference.

I won't deny that I would have liked to have had the experience of raising a girl.  Not being a mum to one.... because I already am a mum to a little girl!

Another boy would mean..... triple the boy love I get!  it would mean more cars .... or animals.... or dino's.... even footballs.  It would mean that I will have the honour of having another big pair of eyes look at me everyday as though I'm some kind of beauty queen even when I'm feeling under the weather and look like a lorry has hit me.

Another girl would mean..... PINK!  it would mean that her sister can lend her some of her baby clothes.  It means princesses and dolls.  It means shopping!  It means that I, and the rest of the family will have a whole new experience in raising a delicate little girl.  It means big brown eyes will look at her daddy thinking he is her prince charming and she'll wrap him round her little finger and he'll love her all the more for it.

I won't tell you all what the doc said it was...... I'll tell you after the doc

as I said... in the end....I just want a screaming baby... alive and kicking.